Bill Davidson, Karma, and the Missing Music Video

Christian minister, musician, and song-writer, Bill Davidson is a Facebook friend. I’m not sure friending on FB justifies me ripping him off. Back 12 years ago when Headley and the Rug (and Cral) was still on, I needed a tune to go with some lyrics I had. Being compositionally tone-deaf, I stole Bill’s tune to Sit Still Christian.

Here’s the link to see his album. link The music video I recorded was accidentally tossed or recorded-over by a slothful, slovenly, slimy station manager (but otherwise – a great guy.)

I guess that’s how karma works for us tune thieves.

Just a Poet

lyrics written by Headley Hauser, tune stolen by Headley Hauser

Oh I started out being

A stock re-arranger

A butts and beer barter

And a dollar changer

But the shirt didn’t fit

And the store keys, they got mislaid

So now I’m just a Poet

And I don’t even get paid

So then I thought I’d be

A taxi cab hopper

A prom picker-upper

and a late night stopper

But my record was bad

Enough tickets to bring down a raid

So now I’m just a poet

And I don’t even get paid

(bridge)

Hey I’m feeling a chill

Cause I’m just a poet

I eat nothing but swill

Cause I’m just a poet

And now it’s making me ill

(spoken)

They said I’d blow it as a poet

Don’t you know it

I once dreamed of being

A french fry flinger

A burger topper plopper

and an onion ringer

But BK said no way

I guess I didn’t make the grade

So now I’m just a poet

And I don’t even get paid

(bridge)

My chances are nill

Cause I’m just a poet

No more dreams left to fill

Cause I’m just a poet

If some looks, they could kill

(spoken)

There would be no more poet

Don’t you know it

So if you’re tired of being

A pizza driver or a tumbler

And you think you’d find it freeing

To be a versifying mumbler

Hey c’mon over here

You know I’d really like to trade

Cause I’m just a poet

And I don’t even get paid

(spoken)

C’mon now, don’t be afraid

Cause I’m just a poet

And I don’t even get paid

(spoken)

Hmmm how can I persuade?

Cause I’m just a poet

And I don’t even get paid

(spoken)

I should have been a sculptor

Here’s a vid of a very young Bill Davidson when he was with the 60s Salvation Army band, The Joy Strings. I think it’s him they focus on around a minute and 5 seconds, but I can’t be sure.

Legos and the Path to Fame and Fortune.

I was born just a few years early to get in on the great Lego legacy. I had some white, red, and clear building blocks that worked much as Legos do, but they lacked the cool gadgets that Legos offers. 

 They were like miniature cinder blocks that connected and so they were relegated to building houses and forts for my toy soldiers.

Just as Bill Gates a generation later, cornered the operating systems market by slightly adapting existing technology, Legos moved into the American market with a slightly altered connector shape to my no-name building blocks and made an Empire. I’m even saving this file with a Lego USB drive.

So what is it about Legos that make six-year-olds hyperventilate? My erector set and Lincoln Logs never set me in a frenzy no matter how much Captain Crunch I’d had for breakfast.

I’ve never been proud. I steal pictures from FB to post here on Just Plain Stupid. I ‘borrow’ other people’s jokes; I even repurpose existing tunes to write parodies. I think I lack just as much character as Bill Gates and Joe Lego (or whatever his/her name is.) What existing bland and under-appreciated technology can I adjust slightly and use to rake in enough gold to satisfy a Lego pirate?

Rubber bands are basic and bland. They've been around ever since... a long time – but has anyone made jewelry from them?

You say they've been doing that a while? Maybe I should look around more.

Paper clips! What's more mundane and simple? But what if we made it artistic?

Oh – well, artists are usually poor anyway.

How about twist ties? Twist ties are ubiquitous. They breed in my top kitchen drawer, which really cuts down on manufacturing costs. How about claymation made from twist ties?

Hmm… I guess that’s covered.

Soda bottles! I could revolutionize the craft world with...

Dang it!

What's the most drab and useless technology out there... Toilet paper rolls? Ignoring the whole disease possibilities – if I could make toys from...

The heck with it. Move over; I'm playing with your Legos. I high-hosey the pirates!

For the .0002% of JPS readers who haven't seen it - here's a classic Lego adaptation of a Monty Python favorite.

HHHH Inducts: The Coen Brothers

The Headley Hauser Hall of Honor (pronounced Hawner,) is proud (hawnered) to induct the creators of several of my favorite movies – the Coen brothers. The brothers, Coen join Douglas Adams and Christopher Moore, and as such, are the first movie folk in this institution of dubious distinction.

I feel bad inducting Joel and Ethan Coen in the same post because I’m sure that each brother independently is worthy, but as they almost always work together, it’s hard to tell what each one really does. So even if one of them (let’s say, Ethan,) is a total lay-about, the results of their collaboration (Miller’s Crossing, Raising Arizona, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou, Hudsucker Proxy, Crimewave) merits them two inductions (especially since I don’t have to buy the pedestals.)

Inside Llewyn Davis might add to their laurels as well, but as my local library doesn’t have it on DVD, I haven’t seen it yet.

They also have a number of non-crappy movies including Blood Simple, Barton Fink, Burn After Reading, No Country for Old Men, Ladykillers, Intolerable Cruelty, and The Man Who Wasn’t There.

As for True Grit and The Big Lebowski - I think the brothers should be polite the next time Jeff Bridges asks to do a movie with them and tell him they’ll get back to him, “real soon.”

Jeff Bridges aside, the mark of great movie-makers is that they bring out the best in their stars. This is certainly the case with the Coen brothers (or maybe just one of them – I can’t be certain about Ethan.)

They made quirky Frances McDormand so hot in Blood Simple (a curious bit of magic there,) that Joel married her.

Then they emphasized her natural strengths and got her an Oscar for Fargo.

They moved William H. Macy from the ranks of familiar faces to that of genuine star. 

 I am particularly grateful not only because I loved his work in Mystery Men and Seabiscuit, but also because I hear he’s a soft touch and I’m planning on hitting him up for a loan.

They made Nicolas Cage interesting and engaging in Raising Arizona, 

which turned out to be a dirty trick on the American public who is still waiting for him to be interesting and engaging once again. It was a cruel blow for Cher who got stuck working with him in Moonstruck where he did his level best to ruin the defining work of the singer’s movie career. The fact that Cher, Olympia Dukakis, and Vincent Gardenia didn’t bludgeon him to death is evidence that there truly is charity in Hollywood (or that Cage has good bodyguards.)

The Coens helped John Goodman work through some his earlier troubles, (King Ralph, The Babe, Roseanne,) 

and become a whole (plus 100 pounds) actor again.

They discovered George Clooney’s funny bone (which he has since buried again,) but as with Cage, we hope to see him do something worthwhile once again.

Holly Hunter rocked in Raising Arizona and O Brother, Where Art Thou, 

but I don’t give either brother any credit because HH (Holly Hunter, not Headley Hauser) is the greatest actress of her generation.

My bone to pick with Joel and/or Ethan, is why it is so hard to get a copy of Crimewave? It’s true that Sam Raimi (sadly) directed Crimewave over-the-top, but I still like it and don’t appreciate having to see it dubbed in languages I can't identify.

On a personal note – I wrote Trouble in Taos envisioning it as a Coen Brothers Movie, 

TnT link and am ready and willing to accept large amounts from them for the film rights – especially now as they’re enshrined in HHHH.

Fellas? Any day now…

T-Shirts! Just Because

It's so easy!  I put up a bunch of pictures, and people like it.  So why do I write?
    Oh yeah - the addiction thing.

Speaking of Addiction

Addictions can lead to good things

Or as my mentor used to say -

Ah, but Patience is a virtue

Why is there no shortage of dumb...

Of course all the "Smart People" studied all the time - how'd that work out?

Not me!  I got my philosophy from Mark Twain

And my diet from Dom Deluise

Speaking of eggs

Not doing school work allowed me to catch up on more important stuff

The only course that held my interest was history

Enough about me.  Don't you hate it when people give you TMI?

Or those whiny types

Humans would be more lovable if they didn't talk

Finally - here's a non-T-shirt that I might consider wearing

This weeks video is a cautionary tale of what happens to lovable house pets if you make them wear clothes.