Walter Bego, the chief muckety-muck of Go Figure Reads called me the
other day.
(Never a good thing.)
“So Headley,” said Walter, “how do you think the blog is
going?”
“Stupid as always,” I say defensively.
“Stupid, yes,” said Walter, “like a stupid box set.”
“Huh?”
Maybe I could have found a more intelligent rejoinder, but the fact
is, Walter was right. All of my highest view-count posts are more
than a year old. Most Wednesdays and Saturdays (the days after I
make my posts,) the most recent post is behind two – to – five older
posts in the 24 hour rankings.
“I see a lot of pictures of other people’s kittens lately,”
said Walter.
“I know.”
“You’ve been taking stuff from Stanley too.”
“He offered.”
“And that’s with you serializing Dirk Destroyer, a novella that
might be breaking records for unpopularity.”
“That’s because I didn’t include Donald Trump.”
"I don’t think so,” said Walter. “Avoiding The Donald should have helped your ratings. We really should find a good place for that guy.”
I hate it when Walter’s right.
“And how long has it been since you finished a novel – two and a
half years?”
“I started two.”
“And the last one you finished?”
“Dirk Destroyer...”
There was silence at the other end of the line. I was hoping it was
because someone was garroting Walter, or maybe he had been
transported to a planet full of Barney Dinosaur wanna-bes.
“Sorry Headley,” said Walter finally, not really masking the glee
in his voice, “Your blog just isn’t cutting it any more. It’s
sucking you dry. Let’s face it; you didn’t have much talent to
start with and now with all this sucking – your blog really…”
“Sucks?”
“Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery.”
Walter hung up, but not before I heard him start humming a merry
tune.
The great sensei of blogging and originator of Great American Things,
Robin Chalkley said that a successful blog should be updated at least
twice a week.
What he didn’t have to say is that the material needs to be decent.
So now I put Just Plain Stupid on hiatus. You may see a new post
here or there, but only when I have something worthwhile to say - so Walter would tell you not to hold your breath. In the meantime, check out Junk Drawer, which might have more stories now that I'm not being stupid - intentionally. Junk Drawer
So, it’s not goodbye – just so long,. Oh, and Walter - too many kittens? In the words of Bill the
Cat:
Pbbbbttttttt!
