HHHH Inducts Theodor S. Geisel

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

--- Dr. Seuss

The great advantage of books is that people like Homer, Aristophanes, or Donald Trump can speak to people born thousands of years after they have ceased to convert O2 to CO2. While I wouldn’t necessarily inflict Donald Trump on the people of the forty-first century, I wish them Dr. Seuss with all my heart.

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”

--- Dr. Seuss

His first publication was a series of four chapbooks that were combined into The Pocket Book of Boners, (1931) a title which (sadly) doesn’t translate well for the modern children’s market, but nine years later, he introduced us to the wonderful Horton

 in Horton Hatches the Egg (1940). Horton re-appeared over a decade later in Horton Hears a Who! (1954). Horton was, and continues to be, one of the great teachers of my life in the areas of kindness, patience, perseverance, and acceptance of others.

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!”

“A person's a person, no matter how small.”

--- Horton

It also helped that the Horton books are smashing reads.

Speaking of smashing reads, how about How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1957), The Cat in the Hat (1957), The Cat in the Hat Comes Back (1958), Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories (1958)?

Courtesy of Joe T. can you decipher this 1960 Dr. Seuss book title?

Then came Green Eggs and Ham (1960).

What is it about this classic that drives so many of us to commit it to memory? Could it be that we recognize that there are secrets and insights children know that are forgotten as adults?

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

--- Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss created books to help children read (Hop on Pop – 1963), develop vocal dexterity (Fox in Socks – 1965), connect visual skills with verbal (I Can Draw It Myself – 1970), and appreciate their environment (The Lorax – 1971).

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

--- Dr. Seuss

During the turbulent times of the late 60s and early 70s, Dr. Seuss had a way of looking beyond the conflict that divided people…

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”

--- Dr. Seuss

…and taught us to appreciate the wonder of our existence…

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” 

--- Dr. Seuss

…and how each of us makes the choices that give our lives meaning. As he said in Oh The Places You’ll Go (1990), the last book published before his death in 1991.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

--- Dr. Seuss

Over the years I’ve heard a number of publishers say words along the lines of – Don’t give me anything like Dr. Seuss. No rhymes. No nonsense words. It’s been done – we don’t need any others.

What I hear is – Don’t give me anything like Jesus. No Gandhi. No Dr. King. We’ve heard about peace – the world doesn’t need to hear any more.

And the publishing industry is wondering why it’s in such trouble.

And so – for being a great writer, illustrator, philosopher, maker of nonsense, and a lover of child-like wonder, I induct Theodor Dr. Seuss Geisel into the Headley Hauser Hall of Honor (pronounced Hawner.)

“Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry.”

--- Dr. Seuss

Part 1

Part 2

Poetry Playhouse

Poets to the Rescue

a play by Headley Hauser

Scene One

(Knock on door)

Woman: Is it the plumber?

Poet 1: No

Woman: The electrician?

Poet 1: No

Woman: Martha Stewart?

Poet 1: No Ma’am, it’s the poets. Let us in please.

(Woman opens door and three poets in work clothes and tool belts enter. The room is trashed. Bad art hangs on the wall. Three Children stare off into space.)

Narrator: When disaster strikes - call the poets!

Poet 1: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And being one traveler, long I…

Poet 2: I think that I will never see, a billboard lovely as…

Poet 3: There once was a man from Nantucket…

Narrator: Our competent staff of experienced professionals is ready for any emergency be it personal -

Poet 1: I rise…

Narrator: Family-related -

Poet 2: (to the children) Not in a box, not with a fox, not in a house, not with a mouse. I would not like them here or there…

Narrator: Or commercial -

Poet 3: If you think it’s butter, but it’s not…

Narrator: For a limited time only, with every poet visit, get free cliché-guard.

Child 1: Sticks and stones may gaaaachhhk!

Man 1: A man’s home is his bllluuuubghhhh

Woman 2: You know what Mom always said, yulieicht!

Man 2: (woman 1 is on phone and hears:) The check is in heiyayuriap!

Narrator: The poets will stay with you until the problem is solved - or you’re out of munchies.

Scene Two

(The place is neater and more tasteful. The children look awake and alert, though the youngest is smoking a pipe.)

Poet 1: Sorry about the pipe, that happens sometimes.

Woman 1: I don’t mind at all! Doesn’t little Nestor look distinguished!

Narrator: You’ll be very pleased with the results.

Woman 1: Thank you poets!

The End

Thanks to Facebook Friend, JA, for this song by one of my favorite musical poets: Tom Lehrer.

Things Environmental

Cral Zombo, the co-star of Headley and the Rug (and Cral) loves the Seuss story, The Lorax. He’s even memorized the book. Here’s the cartoon version.

I have my own environmental paean (That means song, right? For some reason it sounds dirty to me. Pee – on maybe.) I wrote the tune myself (big mistake.) It sounds like cows trying to milk themselves with violin bows.

How would I know what that sounds like? C’mon, it’s not like I’ve never been to Vermont.

Look at Them

I don’t recycle, and I eat veal

But I hate those Eskimos who kill baby seals

Don’t look at me - Don’t look at we

Look at them

Yeah, I may litter, don’t call me slob

To clean up this street must be somebody’s job

Don’t look at me - Don’t look at we

Look at them

I live my life the way it’s easy for me

Avoiding every re-sponsibility

The earth is trashed and I think it’s a shame

But don’t you go and try to saddle me with any blame

My car is far, from toxin free

But check out the driver in that damn SUV

Don’t look at me - Don’t look at we

Look at them

I throw my motor oil, out in the ditch

But the president of Exxon is one son-of-a …

Don’t look at me - Don’t look at we

Look at them

bridges – get it?

It ain’t a dog’s life, if you’re a wolf pup

I blame the fat cats, who screwed it all up

But to the Hutsi tribesman, half-blind toothless and lame

The fat cat and me are one and the same

I’m just one guy, it’s hard to see

How world wide problems can be traced back to me

Don’t look at me - Don’t look at we

Look at them

An average Joe, with average crimes

Multiplied by population seven billion one hundred and thirteen million, four hundred and seventy-three thousand, eight hundred and twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five… thirty-eight times

Hey, look at me - Hey, look at we

We are… them

I won’t comment on rumors that Dow Chemical is keeping Tinkerbelle in an underground testing facility in Delaware, or that the Sierra Club is plotting with extra-terrestrials to transmogrify the Republican leadership of the House into economy-sized bags of Pampers. It’s not my intention to get political here.

My point is this:

If you’re a 50, 60, or 70-something that waxes nostalgic for the days of peace, love, dope and environmental awareness, and you don’t recycle your water bottles (or like a church I know, throw your unused paper bulletins into the regular trash,) you’re not being a 2 syllable word that begins with H-I-P, you’re being a 3 syllable word that begins with H-Y-P.