Is it over? Somebody else check – I don’t dare. Is our
silver-white winter truly about to melt into spring?
I’m sure we’ve had worse winters. There was the whole ice age
thing – that couldn't have been much fun, but this winter has
seemed especially cruel – personally malevolent. Did someone piss
off Snow Miser?
Well over a decade ago, I moved to North Carolina – largely for
health reasons. I knew I’d have some cold days, maybe a few icy
ones, but rarely a day I couldn't get out and walk a couple miles,
get some fresh air. I’ve been lucky to walk three days a week this
winter.
Anybody know of cheap places to live in Florida?
I know things were worse in Upstate New York, but I’m not convinced
the driving was this bad. When Albany gets 8 inches of snow, North
Carolina gets a half inch of ice. Which would you rather drive on?
Then there are the deer. Deer live everywhere, but in the Carolinas,
I think they interbred with lemmings. They wait by the edge of the
road, pondering eternal truths, and waiting for a death with meaning
and impact – meaning that the impact of their death will total some
poor guy who just reduced his car insurance to liability only.
For some reason I imagine Julie Andrews, like a siren, encouraging
their folly with tunes from the Sound of Music.
Wild deer on roadsides
They whisper and snicker
“Wait till the black ice
Is thicker and slicker”
Look for a Yugo
Let the dump truck pass by
This is the way that a deer wants to die.
or maybe
Doe - the deer – I struck her rear
Pay – insurance is not fun
Fee – for game - without permit
Jar(red) – by folks at wildlife fund
So – I’m needled by my friends
Law – attorneys without end
See – my clothes - did PETA rend
So now I hide in woods with …
Doe, Pay, Fee, Jarred, So, Law, See –
But today is the first day of spring, and while that is meaningless
in North Dakota, it should mean something in more southern climes.
Perhaps the holocaust is over – Snow Miser is appeased for nine
months, the deer find forage in the hills, and Julie Andrews goes
back to B-grade comedies that mock her roles in the early 60s.
And I have nine months to forget how bad this winter was – or maybe
find a place in Florida.
