Halloween Babies

Back in my tricycle days, when I wasn't dodging dinosaurs, I looked forward to the October I would be allowed to cross the street on my own.  That meant trick or treating, and getting a costume.  Nobody I knew put costumes on babies and toddlers - they can't carry much candy, after all.
Times have changed.  Most of the baby costumes are cute.

That's right, kid - might as well get used to having things loaded on your back

They picked this baby out of the garden

Wise, I am

I don't think there's a real person in that costume

I've got nothing

Some are elaborate - Do people still work?

Took me a minute

This one took me a minute and a half

This one I got right away - but does it fly?

In addition to all the cuteness - there are a few disturbing trends I'm picking up on.

Parents - are you really in a big hurry for them to get facial hair and tats?

Maybe these are around for the biker babies to bully?

I'm pretty sure this is child abuse.

But even more disturbing is the theme of baby as food item.

This one is subtle - older child elephant - baby - peanut

But even WORSE, is the combination parent-child baby food item costume.

Baker and cupcake - not terribly bad

Sebastian and cook - well, at least there's a cute song that goes with it.

Oh, the HUMANITY!

Here's one that seems Okay - until you find out what it is.

The H1N1 virus...

I'm not a big fan of cute - but maybe it's time to go back to...

Or we may screw these kids up so much - they won't be able to work and pay for our social security.  The next thing you know...

The Fat Baby Sings

A little Halloween shopping.

Babies respond to FB pictures

   So I got a slew of posts with baby pictures on them this week, and they don't look pleased.  Kids are surfing the net so early these days.  I didn't dare answer the telephone before I was 6.
   What has these munchkins so rankled?  Maybe it's all the other stuff that shows up on Facebook.
   Some of it is pretty scary...

vegitrembles

Severe Penalties for missed compulsories

bad-ass garden-keepers

bad-ass queen - jeepers-creepers!

   It's enough to fill your diaper.

   And there's so much miscommunication.

at least I hope they didn't mean...

OK, I don't want to think too much about this.

Yeah, I tried that one

I don't care if she's confused - I'm still cheering.

   But us little guys?  We're lying awake at nap-time wondering

   Not all of it is in the best of taste

Just be a good egg, why don't ya?

shudder me bumpers!

Ya gotta look your best if you're gonna pick up a creamsicle in frozen foods

Yup - it's a pain in the...

   Adults wonder why we spit up our milk.

Of course, there are always the loonies

I hope they wore their lead bibs

Until she gets enough cabinet space...

now performing Penguin Lake

Relatives?  I'm admitting nothing!

   We hear you talk about being role models - We don't think it means what you think it means.

   But even Facebook adults sometimes have perfect moments

It's alright - I still find you appeeling

Now - for the video - the babies show their stuff!

Stanley McFarland’s Top Ten

So fellow Go Figure Reads writer, Stanley McFarland sees I’m doing lists of ten and he mentions that he has one himself in this month’s edition of Bethlehem Writers Roundtable.link Stanley’s not exactly a barrel of laughs, but I figure free material for the blog is free material for the blog. If you like this kind of serious stuff, you might want to check out his story, Sammy and May in the same issue.

Sounds That Make Me Smile

by Stanley W. McFarland

1)  A baby’s laugh.  You see a creature so completely innocent and awe-inspiring – then she pours out wisdom she’ll never top in her life.  Was I ever so wise?

2)  A train whistle.  A doorway to imagination – a train can lead to anywhere, from a grisly battle to an animated wonderland.

3)  Rain on the roof.  Do I smile because there is so great a sea of water above me – or because the roof keeps me dry?

4)  The whirring of an automatic can opener.  I think of all the cats I’ve known – poised, wishing, dreaming of that sound.

5)  A bat hitting a baseball.  Do I love baseball for the sights, smells, and sounds – or the game?  Which came first…

6)  Playing cards clacking in the spokes of a bike.  You almost never hear this anymore.  As a child it made me wish I was on a motorcycle.  As an adult it makes me wish I was a child.

7)  Opening theme music from the 1996 animated version of The Tick.  Okay, that might just be me.

8)  Dixieland Jazz.  Satchmo – I miss you dearly.

9)  Crickets, peepers, bullfrogs, an owl calling to its mate.  The quiet of the night cleans the noise from the world and leaves the beauty.

10) The heartbeat of the one I love – my head resting on her chest.  The rest of the world grows dim.

Sometimes people ask me why I can’t be more like Stanley.

 To be honest, Stan kinda reminds me of this guy.

I’ll admit – he’s more sensitive than I am, even poetic, but I can write sensitive. I even write poetry! On Monday, I’ll post some of my poetry – really good sensitive crap. You’ll like it!