Feline Part Two

Feline Part Two

by Stanley McFarland

Not Bovine

Not Porcine

But Feline

recline

decline

align

confine

pipeline

salt mine

shoeshine

life line

opine

repine

cloud nine

high sign

sunshine

moonshine

skyline

alpine

landmine

phone line

combine

bloodline

Feline

Though it's unrelated, one of my favorite eps of the Beverly Hillbillies was on this morning with a wonderful appearance by Alan Napier (Alfred from the 60s series of Batman.)  He's about 18 minutes in.

(Insert Clever Pun Title Here)

A few weeks ago I planned to do another pun pictoral and I had this terrible title (which to punsters is a good thing.) Of course I can't remember it.

So here are some puns that my misnamed friends have been posting on FB.

There are animal-based puns

 Slaughtering them to near extinction wasn't enough

It took me a while to get this one

Dogs accept puns as part of the price they pay for kibble

Wildlife isn't so forgiving

And there are human based puns

If this infant is making puns now - how much evil will she do later?

That's how this guy got started.

I always thought these guys belonged together

Can it, Wanna-be.

Then there are food based puns

Why Atlantis will never win a land war

 This might be the oldest pun in the English language

 Not sure if it's a pun, but I want to see someone order Chocolate on a pine cone

Alright - this one actually made me chuckle

And the inanimate puns

 For all you English majors on break at Burger King

 Notice that the landscape requires more real estate?

 This should scotch those ET rumors

I always wondered why crafts in school made me feel...

Here's one my friend Cral laid on us at a restaurant last week (thankfully we were finished eating.)

At the table was a guy from IBM. He told us that working conditions were getting crappy. Cral said, "it makes sense. The company's name is I... BM."

Okay - I might as well embarass myself by including a couple of my own.

A woman walks into a music store and asks the clerk, "I want to learn to play the harp, do you give harp lessons here?"

"Not usually," says the clerk, "but maybe I can pull a few strings."

Here's one for the scientifically minded.

As the light police said to Beam. "If you stay on this bent, it's off to prism you will go."

But here's the best one posted by a friend on FB - I think it was SB.

Get it?

He wrote above it - "Sorry for the cheesy pick-up line."

I chose this obligatory pun vid because it was the shortest.  (You think I'm going to preview 8 minute pun videos?)

Tee Shirts Again?

Having another Tee Shirt post is like when you have canned chili 6 days in a row because you can’t figure out what else to fix for dinner.

What it means is that I’ve gotten another wonderful issue of Things you never knew existed in my mail box. I sure appreciate the fine folks that I never knew existed for sending me this catalog – especially as I’ve never ordered from them.

What I have done is rip off their Tee Shirt slogans and put them on this blog.  Here's the best from them (that I haven't already ripped off in a previous post.)

People keep pointing this shirt out to me for some reason.

Now with 20% more nitrogen!

Still waiting on the punch line

And here's some from other sources

I knew God created hockey

Sorry clown fans...  Are there any?

So sweet - maybe due to diabetes

That's the spirit

This last group is from a tee shirt trend of making the body part of the message.  A lot of those won't pass the decency test (I failed that twice.)  Here are the cleaner ones.

Nerd-dom free from the weight of tie and pocket protector!

Way to go!

Hurts to look at.

Last couple are for the insufferable.

As long as that means I can go away.

VW did a bunch of these videos.  This is my favorite.