In
an earlier post entitled, In Support of Foo link, I advocated changing the
word ‘off’ to foo. Typically, the etymological community ignored
it. Maybe titling this blog Just Plain Stupid
was a poor choice in that regard.
While
I stand by my foo/off argument, that has nothing to do with today’s
post. This is not about foo, but Foo, as in Little Bunny Foo (X2).
It’s
a case of improper judicial finding without benefit of appeal. For
those unfamiliar with the case, here is an excerpt from the record:
Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoping through the forest
Scooping
up the field mice, and bopping them on the head.
This,
in short, is the accusation against FooX2 – that he was recidivist
field mice bopper. According to the fairy mandatory sentencing law
of 18298 CFE (common fairy era,) repeated and unrepentant mouse
bopping must be punished by eternal goonhood.
How
barbaric.
What
is this, the middle ages? The same law punishes badger painting and
skunk hypnosis with 7 to 15 years fairy labor (either flower
brightening, or tooth sorting.) Do I need to tell you how dangerous
a lavender badger is? – not to mention a skunk under the influence
of post-hypnotic suggestion.
I’m
not defending field mice bopping. I know that bopped, swirlied,
nuggied, and wet-willied rodents suffer PTS (post Tra-rattic Stress)
disorder, but with counseling, and dairy products, these vermin can
live out their normal disgusting lives.
Unlike
lavender badgers.
There
are some extenuating circumstances clearly spelled out in the
transcript that neither the fairy mandatory sentencing law, nor the
fairy standing in judgement recognized in this case.
While rabbits are
generally much larger than mice, we need to point out that FooX2 was
called LITTLE, and the mice victimized were field mice (among the
largest of their species.)
The acts in question
did not take place in a field, but a forest. Might FooX2 feel
threatened but an incursion of strange rodents coming into his
territory?
FooX2 was a bunny,
not a rabbit – in other words, a juvenile. The FMSL gives no
guidelines for juvenile leniency.
Clearly,
the problem here is not FooX2, an intimidated youthful offender, but
a system of justice run not through a representative and therefore
responsible government, but by a cadre of organized fairies under the
arbitrary leadership of cruel and capricious godmothers.
How
ironic that a smalltime prankster like FooX2 is sentenced to eternal
goonhood, by a tyrannical wielder of supreme judicial power who is
little better than winged and wanded Al Capone.
Who
is the true goon in this case?
The following video was clearly put together by the prosecution in order to put FooX2 in a bad light
Does it surprise you to hear that I’m dyslexic? Back in my father’s day, you had two kinds of children, those with polio, and those without. In my childhood polio was gone so we searched for other crippling diseases for children and discovered dyslexia. Nowadays we’ve gone overboard. We have dyslexia, autism, peanut allergy, IBS, ADD, and a wide variety of other maladies and phobias to choose from. We used to fear being different. Now we can’t handle being the same. Any kid without at least 2 crippling issues might be suffering from ENS (Excessive Normality Syndrome.)
None of this has anything to do with Foo. I only mentioned the dyslexia, because my personal not-so-crippling disease was my doorway to Foo.
What is Foo? Foo is the answer to one of the stupidest inconsistencies of the English language. If we want to abbreviate yes and no, we use Y & N. If we want to abbreviate true and false, we use T & F. Everybody knows what we’re talking about.
How do we abbreviate on and off? What kind of idiotic seventh century Middle English philologist came up with the idea of having on and off start with the same letter? Whoever it was didn’t foresee light and power switches becoming integral parts of our daily existence. Those of us who receive excessive AARP junk mail can’t read the tiny letters on the switches. A large O or F we might see.
Recently I’ve noted the abbreviations O and – to designate on and off. What does that mean? Both words begin with O and neither has an – in it.
Foo is the answer. Foo is similar enough to off that the constantly evolving English language will adapt to it in no time (dyslexics might not even notice the difference.) We obviously can’t reverse on because not only is no already a commonly used word, but because no more easily associates with off than on.
Foo is the beginning of relatively few words, food, foot, fool, none of which are antithetical to off. When you attempt to fool someone, aren’t you trying to throw them off?
In the case of a certain bunny-knock them off
It’s a good fit.
What about ffo. While it’s true that ffo has greater similarity to off, do you really want to pronounce that? Unless you’re Bavarian, or grew up stuttering, it’s difficult to say ffo without an offensive (fooensive?) spray of saliva.
"Honey, turn ffo the lights and come to bed."
You think a little spittle on your lover’s face is going to help you get lucky?
Nah, Foo is better. The fooshoot? Do not fooer foo-color or foohand foolishness to fooicious fooicers, lest you fooend.
I like the sound of it; let’s get started. You grab a dictionary; I’ll get the white-out.
