The Grinch

He’s so much a part of our holiday that we forget that the Grinch is a relatively modern addition to Christmas – barely fifty years old. He was crafted by two geniuses – Dr. Seuss, and Boris Karloff, who supplied the voice. Is it because tart makes the sweet sweeter that characters like the Grinch and his much older colleague, Scrooge stand unabashedly among the much jollier Santa, Rudolf, Frosty, and Clarence the angel.

There must be something more to it.

I think we can pretty much forget the Jim Carey version. 

 Most children under 10 have never heard of it. The Grinch was meant to be in rough animation with the voice of Frankenstein’s monster giving it life.

The Grinch sells a lot of Tequila, as the story is the subject of a very popular drinking game. Odd – that thievery and drunkenness would be forgiven as the Grinch is celebrated in these politically correct times.

Of course It’s a Wonderful Life is similarly celebrated, and nobody mentions Jimmy Stewart’s brawling or the verbal abuse of his wife, his kids, Bert the cop, and a school teacher.

But the Grinch was also an abuser of animals. Something that was accepted and considered funny in cartoons of the 60s, surely can’t be tolerated in an age of PETA.

Where do these Christmas icons get their teflon? Do we forgive the Grinch because adorable Cindy Lou Who does? Maybe it’s because he did kindly heroic things at the end.

But what did he do? He stopped a sled of stolen loot (and the pet he had abused constantly,) from falling off a cliff. That’s certainly a feat of strength, but any unrepentant thief would wish to do the same. He blew a trumpet as he rushed into Whoville, returning most of what he had taken,  (remember, items fell off his sled.) But he still had all that he had at the beginning of the tale, and he and his minion got a great meal out of the deal. What was so kindly or heroic about that?

So – we have a crafty, avaricious, spiteful man. He steals everything he can from his neighbors. He then gives some of it back, but his victimization cycle leaves him in the black. Not only does he gain materially, but he’s haled as a hero and a great guy. He gets to sit at the head of the table and decide (through carving,) exactly how much roast beast goes to each citizen of Whoville.

Oh – I get it!

We revere the Grinch because he is the patron saint of politicians.

Here's more from Carlin on politics - Warning, Carlin was not exactly delicate in his presentation

Arch and Icky

Quick Thoughts 1 – Privacy – the gift that’s hardest to share.

2 – Contrary to what the 5-year-old told me, a centipede is not a creature that urinates pennies.

3 – I’m told that experts have difficulty telling when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom because the P is silent.

Arch and Icky

My feet hurt a lot. My doctor blames my arches and I wear silly plastic things in my shoes.

I like architecture which involves arches and has the word arch in the name (I think it was built in as a bit of etymological architecture.)

In spite of the foot pain, I fully approve of these uses of the word arch. From that point on, I have to admit that I just don’t get it.

The Riddler is Batman’s enemy. The Joker is Batman’s Arch enemy… They both try to kill Batman every time they escape from prison or the mental hospital. They both nearly take over the City/Country/World on a regular basis.

So how is it that Joker differs from Riddler? Riddler wears green clothes and Joker has green hair. Is a green coif inherently more menacing than a green wardrobe? How does Joker rate the Arch, and what does it really signify?

Personally, in spite of their respective names, I find Riddler funnier and Joker more puzzling. Perhaps that’s how Keane and the other creators of Batman meant it to be, but that has nothing to do with my real question about the word arch.

I can only conclude one thing – the Joker is ickier than Riddler – ergo… 

Arch = Icky

(when not in reference to feet or structures)

If this frivolous use of an otherwise concrete (sometimes literally concrete) concept was limited to comic books, it would only be a harmless anomaly. Unfortunately, it has infected our public discourse.

If you hear someone referring to another as liberal, conservative, libertarian, or socialist you may infer that the person speaking is in agreement, or at least approves of the person they speak of.

However, when the speaker refers to the other as EXTREME liberal, ARCH conservative, INFLEXIBLE libertarian, or NAÏVE socialist, you can also infer that the speaker is in disagreement and probably disapproves of the person they speak of.

This is particularly enlightening when you watch the news. I’ve heard moderates like Bill Clinton and John McCain referred to as EXTEME liberal and ARCH conservative respectively on news broadcasts that would feign objectivity. These modifiers have lost meaning; the only thing I gather when I hear them is that the broadcaster thinks that the person they speak of is icky.

Icky is a useful word. Unlike arch, when someone uses the word icky, you know that the meaning is both subjective and emotional. Icky is an honest word. Nobody who uses icky as a modifier can pretend to be unbiased or objective.

“I love my daughter and my icky son equally.”

“I evaluate classic cars like Mustangs and icky Corvettes.”

“Now we will hear your summations – Icky prosecutor, you may proceed.”

There’s nothing concrete about Icky. You wouldn’t study Ickytecture in order to become an Ickytect. There are no plastic devises to support the Ickyness of your feet.

For the sake of clarity, in the news, in politics, (and possibly in comic books,) I propose that for the next year we replace all non foot or structure uses of the word arch with the word icky. While we’re at it, let’s substitute icky for extreme as well. The result might help us sort our perspectives, opinions, and feelings.

And it will definitely make political ads, and the news less boring.

(Medical professionals - please still use the word extreme – “Are you in icky pain?” doesn’t sound doctor-like.)

The only videos I can do after this have to be political ads.

Here's one from the right -

And one from the left -