For the last four entries of Just Plain Stupid, we’ve
been following the progress of a roach which has uncommon psychic
ability. This ability has saved him from both bug traps and spiders,
but is that all he has to fear? If you’d like to catch up, here
are parts One, Two, Three, and Four.
And now:
Psychic
Roach Part Five
by
Headley Hauser
Two rooms remained. He took the darker one that was
now straight ahead of him.
This room was larger than either the empty bedroom or
the baby’s room. A large bed framed by two windows stuck out from
the far wall. To the left of the bed was another closet with its own
window. Against the right wall was a long dresser under yet another
window.
It took him a moment to realize that two humans were
lying in the bed. He wondered if each knew the other was there?
Surely this warranted some closer investigation.
A thick comforter made an easy path to the top of the
bed. From there Only Roach could see that they must be aware of each
other because the man’s arm was resting on the woman’s shoulder.
Both were asleep, though neither as soundlessly as the baby down the
hall. They had escaped the powder that covered the baby. Each had
mostly pleasant, natural smells, though the female had a faint
artificial flowery scent coming from spots around her neck.
The female’s eye flickered, and suddenly the
comforter erupted, landing tangled on the floor.
“Get it!” the woman screamed. There was now more
light poking through the folds of the comforter.
“Get what?” the male groaned.
“A roach! He was up here on the bed.”
“I don’t see him.”
Only Roach knew he had to get out of the room. He
zipped through the folds of the comforter, found the carpet, and ran
as fast as he could toward the hallway.
“There he is!” the woman shouted.
Only Roach couldn’t understand why the woman hated
him so. Seeing a doorway a little to his right, he scrambled
through.
He wasn’t in the hall. The screaming and getting
tangled in the comforter had thrown off his sense of direction.
There were boxes and shoes and a hamper of laundry. He was in
another closet. He felt a towering presence looming behind him. He
wanted to get in the hamper, but he knew the male would get him
before he was halfway up the side. One pair of shoes smelled
especially good, but they were too far away. He ran around the box
in front of him and crawled in from the other side.
Outside the box he heard things moving around. Then
the box started spinning. For a second or two he felt like he had
wings, but he couldn’t control where he was flying. The box
crashed into something and fell to the carpet upside down. The box
lid was knocked ajar. Only Roach fell out of the box and onto the
carpet. Quickly he climbed back onto the lid and the box’s side as
high as he could go. He wedged himself in where one piece of
cardboard flapped over another.
“Don’t look in the shoebox!” he wished as hard
as he could. He heard things flying around outside. The box was
jostled again, but this time it didn’t fly. “Don’t look in the
shoebox, don’t look in the shoebox, don’t look in the shoebox!”
The rustling outside the box stopped. “I’m not
going to find it honey, let’s get back to sleep.”
“I’m not about to sleep after that! Besides,
it’s almost six o’clock.”
There was a clicking sound, and suddenly there were
other voices in the room. The voices changed frequently, and with
them music and sounds that didn’t belong in a human bedroom. Only
Roach recognized that he was hearing another of the talking picture
boxes, a…TV, like the one in the kitchen.
Only Roach cowered in the shoebox and wondered. Did
the adult male forget to look in the shoebox, or was he wished away?
Antennae nervously twitching, Only Roach decided not to leave the
safety of the shoebox until the humans were gone.
Finally the TV and other people sounds stopped. Just
to be sure, Only Roach waited in the shoebox until he saw patterns of
sunlight illumine the carpet by the box’s edge.
Whew!
Here’s another unroach-related video, offered for no
other reason than that each post seems to have one. This is one of the funniest moments on TV.
Though the Only Roach might find his way around spiders
and traps, would it ever be safe for him to live among humans? Find
out Thursday in the sixth and concluding
chapter of:
The Psychic Roach
