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Thursday, October 10, 2013

Nine Missing Words Contest


Those of you who have read Trouble in Taos link may still be wondering about an omission I made in Chapter Seven. I had the unfortunate character, Lowell Sparger sing a song at the Rosa Linda bar, but I killed him before he could finish. I felt kind of bad about doing that to my readers (and I don’t think Lowell liked it much either.)

Here’s the tune

And here are the lyrics that show in the book.

Off to sea went the fighting ship, make way, make way.

You never did see a mightier ship, make way, make way.

With a hearty crew and a captain proud

They sailed through the night in the fog and the cloud,

And the crew roared MAKE WAY.

We’re the mighty ship, you better get out of the way.
The captain spied a light ahead, make way, make way.

They better move, or they’ll be dead, make way, make way.

To the ship ahead, this is Captain Clyde,

Move five degrees port or else we’ll collide,

And the crew roared, MAKE WAY.

We’re the mighty ship, better get out of the way.
Out of the gloom, there came a reply, make way, make way.

You better move or else you will die, make way, make way.

To Captain Clyde, this is Seaman Nash,

Move five degrees port or else you will crash,

And the crew roared, MAKE WAY.

We’re the mighty ship, better get out of the way.
The Captain said, have some reason, son, make way, make way.

This fighting ship is twelve hundred ton, make way, make way.

With a triple hull, and a mighty prow,

We’ll make short work of your garbage scow,

And the crew roared, MAKE WAY.

We’re the mighty ship, better get out of the way.
The seaman said you’re in danger now, make way, make way.

For what you approach is no garbage scow, make way, make way.

She may be small for eight tons, she be

___ _ ________ _____ _____ ___ _____ ___ ___

Yup – that’s how I left it.

So to make up for leaving the readers in the dark, I’m planning on revealing the missing lines here on JPS. But first let’s have some fun.

Can you guess the nine missing words? The last word rhymes with be and I put (I think,) the right number of space marks for each word. Take a guess. Send your best guess to headleystupid@gmail.com with the subject line Nine Missing Words. The first one to come up with the right words (failing that – the one who comes closest: failing that – the one who gives the funniest response: failing that – the one that makes the best effort: failing that – the one that doesn’t hurt my feelings,) wins a Trouble in Taos coffee mug
It's suitable (surprisingly) for coffee.  It is also suitable for tea, hot chocolate, bullion, and Ovaltine (Mr. Pibb not recommended) (not because Mr. Pibb will harm the mug – I just don’t recommend it.)

The contest is open to anyone who has an address in the Continental US where they’d like their mug sent. (Other than in Maynard, Massachusetts – some grudges die hard.)

In the event of multiple right answers, those who were not first to get their guess in will receive a set of 6 low-quality Go Figure Reads refrigerator magnets, suitable to cling to your refrigerator door and mock you for not getting your response in fast enough. Those with right answers who fail to give their name and address will receive a raspberry via email reply.

All legal disclaimers ever written apply.

Over the next few weeks, I will be serializing Chapter Seven on Just Plain Stupid. In each installment I will jumble one of the Nine Missing Words. I will announce the correct answer and winner at the end of the series (unless the winner is too ashamed to let me use his/her/it’s/their/whatever’s name – you can make up a fake name and I’ll announce that… but the NSA will still know.) Awarding of the prize may be cancelled or delayed due to NSA actions such as kidnapping me, blocking my blog, or taking away my tin-foil hat.