Jesus Cheers for Notre Dame

Stop me if you’ve heard this one…

Now that I’ve put together a veritable manure pile of blog posts, it’s getting more and more difficult to remember what I’ve posted. I did a quick scan of my post titles. It’s infuriating how often my post title has little or nothing to do with what I put in the post. I’d divorce myself, but who would get custody of the Pop Tarts? Can’t take that chance.

So I’ve been working on a sports parody the last few weeks, and it brought to mind another sports parody I wrote 12 years ago. Almost immediately, my song was out of date. My second stanza of the first verse proclaimed that the Red Sox would never again win the World Series, I referred to the Tampa Bay baseball team as the Devil Rays, I mentioned Vandy – a team that’s gone to bowls the last two years – as a perennial sad sack, I reference Doherty as the North Carolina coach, and I mention Tommy Lasorda who everyone seems to have forgotten.

Thank goodness the Cubs have been consistent so far.

For a few years I tried to keep up – changing the song to reflect the changing nature of sports.

Boy did that get old.

So even if in my growing manure pile, I might have posted this song before – here, for the first time is the original 2002 lyrics (to be sung in a soft lyrical brogue.)

A Jig for Holy Sport’s Fans

(Chorus)

Don't ya know that Jesus

Cheers for Notre Dame?

The Spirit likes les Habitants

The Canadians the same

The heavenly host helped MJ

But the Lakers now they cheer

And the Father above’s a Yankees man

Though their fans drink too much beer

Oh heaven’s not a refuge

If you’re a Cubbie fan

Cheer all you like for the Red Sox

But they’ll never win again

Vandy and Northwestern

Are great with cap and gown

But don’t look to them for football

For they’ll always let you down

(repeat Chorus)

Oh, Mary’d like the Saints now

If she ever saw them play

Teresa was a Celtics fan

Till the poor got in the way

The martyrs don’t like Lions

They remember all the pains

And the Devil cheers the Raiders and

The Miami Hurricanes

The popes, they liked Lasorda

So the Dodgers had a run

The angels would help their namesake

But they don’t think baseball’s fun

The Oilers had a blessing

Till Gretsky left for Hollywood

And no-one likes a Devil Ray

‘Cause they’re just no damn good

(repeat Chorus)

Now Krzyzewski has the blessing

For Doherty is no Smith

The Demon Deacs want Duncan back

That heavenly monolith

And meanwhile all God’s children

From New York to Anaheim

Let mercy slow and evil grow

For on sports we waste our time

(last Chorus)

Don't ya know that Jesus

Cheers for Notre Dame?

The Spirit likes les Habitants

The Canadians the same

The heavenly host helped MJ

But the Lakers now they cheer

And the Father above’s a Yankees man

Though their fans drink too much beer

(spoken in brogue) Like a bunch of Lutherans, they are

(sung slowly) Their fans drink too much beer

Back in the 60s and 70s, My Mother the Car was often referred to as the worst TV show ever.  I wonder if people would still say that today.  There's a lot more really crappy competition out there now.