So I got this email from Gerontolia Veija from Granville Ohio:
Dear
Headley:
Some kind
soul sent me this series of pictures they called Life Hacks. I might
not have looked at the pictures at all, but I thought it was a
misprint for Hicks, and being raised in the country, I thought it
would bring back memories.
I can’t
make heads or tails of these pictures. Would you please explain them
to me?
I’d be glad to, Gerontolia, let’s look at the first one.
Hmmm, yes, I can see the confusion here. You see what we have here
is a very hard form of cheddar cheese. I’m not talking firm, I’m
talking about ‘push the crowns right off your teeth as you chew,’
hard. What our hacker is doing here is a clever form of shiatsu fromage massage. It not only softens the cheese, but it makes it
easier coming out the other end (if you know what I mean.)
Next slide please.
Right – got this one. Some smart phones require not only overnight
charging, but overnight soaking – preferably in soy sauce. For
safety reasons, you should only soak one end of your phone at a time
– repeat – NEVER fully immerse your phone in soy sauce. By
wrapping your ear buds around a thimble, they have better body and
shine, and the picture of the wrecked fishing boat helps give your
phone and buds ambiance.
Next.
Ah, a little known dancing hack. We've all heard the term,
‘warming up.’ In order to dance better, one must warm one’s
feet properly, by donning wool socks in your dancing slippers and
then blasting them with your hair dryer. You’ll look like
Baryshnikov out there.
Next
This particular hack is for addiction recovery. The addiction we’re
dealing with here is Tic Tac addiction, common among school teachers
and state employees. The basil and the nutmeg are for light
addictions, the cayenne and hard chili peppers are for a more serious
problem.
Next
This is commonly known as the WTF hack. Many of us have
acquaintances that feel free to drop in anytime the feel like it.
Even those who tell people to “drop in anytime,” really don’t
want people to do that. Mounting this little do-dad, particularly
the one that appears to be vomiting a Kleenex, will go a long way to
make such annoying people feel less welcome.
Next
This is our empty nest hack. While most children are more
considerate now-a-days, living with Mom and Dad into their fifties,
there are still insensitive types that leave at 18 or 19 abandoning
parents who still have several “sit up straight,” and “don’t
slouch like that,” admonitions ready but still unsaid. This little
sponge is willing to soak up all that unused parenting.
So – is that the list, Geronlolia? I’m glad I could be of
assistance. Here are a few of my favorite hacks to add to your list.
I wish I could hack this blogging thing as well as this honey badger hacks his enclosure. Here's the video -
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