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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Like Fun and Taxes

“It hurts like FUN!”
If you were growing up in my neighborhood and heard a seven-year-old scream out that phrase you knew he was not claiming to be a masochist. He was saying that his injury, in spite of a lack of blood or protruding bones, hurt a great deal. Implied in that was a demand from the seven-year-old that his agony should be respected. Far from being teased for falling off the jungle gym, the injured party expected to be revered for his pain.
Everyone in our neighborhood understood the phrase with all its entire nuance, in spite of the fact that it made no sense what-so-ever.
I’ve never heard it spoken since I left the old homestead. Recently I Googled “Hurts Like Fun,” to see if I’d been unobservant.
If you are, unlike our poor seven-year-old, attempting to encounter masochists, I recommend that particular search.
Curiously, “Like Fun,” (with no “Hurts” preceding,) meant I don’t believe you, or No Way.
Once again, Google doesn’t agree.
Yeah… Like Fun, Google!
In an age where saying an actual curse word was a certain ticket to H, E, double hockey sticks, Like Fun was a socially acceptable substitute, and if you said it vehemently enough, it almost felt like cursing.
That might have been why it was so popular with seven-year-olds.
I’ve tried using it since leaving the neighborhood, but it’s been unsatisfying. Having to explain a euphemism really cuts down on its dramatic effect, and then there’s the risk of being misunderstood by lingering sadists.
I suppose some things should remain on old neighborhoods and in the province of seven-year-olds.
Maybe “hurts like taxes,” and “like taxes,” would make reasonable adult equivalents.

I think it’s got a shot. After all, we have plenty of sadistic law-makers to help make it popular.

Warning!  This is far too educational for this blog!