May 13, 2013
Editors note: Due to complaints
from Homeland Security (apparently this blog contributes to the
perception of decadence in American society,) Just Plain Stupid will
be presenting shorter (hopefully less idiotic) posts.
Headley: What? I have 1250 words ready!
Make it 250.
Huh?
You’ve used 7.
Okay… here’s a story.
Bob and Julia are in love. Bob sidles over to where
Julia perches expectantly. He sticks out his chest in a masculine
fashion, and Julia looks duly impressed. Bob is a fine specimen, and
she knows it.
But he thinks the same of her and he gently rubs against
her. She lets out a delighted twitter. He leans over lovingly, and
Julia knows this is the moment – the first time. Her mouth opens
slightly, invitingly. Bob’s proud head descends. He pauses a
moment. Anticipation ripples through his body. Then he takes the
promised kiss, sweetly, though rapidly – they are new to love, to
sharing.
“Thanks for half your worm,” he twitters.
“You’re welcome, My Love,” she trills, and then
flies off to search for more.
I told you they were Cardinals, right?
I’ve never understood kissing. For me, kissing was something that
was taught, not instinctual – similar to not peeing in the living
room.
I’ve got that one down.
“Kiss your Aunt Herpurbola, Headley.”
“Couldn’t we shake hands?”
“Kiss your Aunt Herpurbola!”
Aunt Herpurbola smelled of Haley’s MO and prunes – not a great
introduction to the practice of kissing. I think my first girlfriend
resented me holding my nose while I kissed her. People can be
touchy.
But then I saw these cardinals, and kissing made sense. I’m ready
to try it! If it’s a really hot date, waffles…
That is all.
Homeland Security
Nothing to see here
Move along
No comment!
ReplyDelete--girlfriend #2 or 3 from back in the day