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Monday, August 5, 2013

Theological Car Accessories

Two weeks ago, I posted about my religious experiences.  Certain imaginary friends challenged me about the existence of a song I mentioned entitled: Jesus Is My Snow Tires.

Yes – the song really exists, and
No – I didn’t write it.

I would have been proud to claim this great opus of American hymnology, but alas, I must defer to a greater, though unknown mind. I boggle to think of the free intellect which could completely ignore the disagreement in number in the title. How can the singular Jesus (grammatically, theologically, historically, and matrimonially) be the plural (presumably four) snow tires? It is a mystery not unlike the whole three-in-one trinity deal.
I also must bow to the creative rhyming in the last verse.

Sadly – I could not find this song on You Tube, so you’ll have to imagine the tune – a spritely country concoction with the customary three bass notes prior to the last line in each stanza.
 

Jesus Is My Snow Tires

by Unknown Genius, living or dead



The snow came down in April

And the green was turned to white

But Jesus is my snow tires

And he’ll pull me through the night.

Through the night, through the night, through the night, through the night.

(Boom-boom-boom) (those are the three bass notes)

Jesus is my snow tires and he’ll pull me through the night



Summer rains in August

I got water in my eye

But The Lord is my umbrella

And I know He’ll keep my dry

Keep me dry (x4)

(Boom-boom-boom)

The Lord is my umbrella and I know He’ll keep me dry



October brings on cold spells

And they chill me to the bone

But Jesus is my afghan

And he makes me feel at home

Feel at home (x4)

(B-B-B) (abbreviated bass notes)

Jesus is my afghan, and he makes me feel at home



(slower, and with feeling)

A’slippin’ and a’slidin’

Through the mud

And through the sluuuuuuusshch

No matter what the season is…

My Jesus love me muuuuuushch

(picking up the tempo now)

Loves me mucsh (x4)

(Boom-Boom-Boom)

No matter what the season is, my Jesus love me mucsh.



Sigh… genius
 
Wait... no video?  Okay, for something completely different, here's one of my favorite lesser-known Python clips.