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Monday, December 9, 2013

Joe the Light Man

The Legacy of Joseph

As I’ve mentioned in this blog – Christmas is not my favorite time of the year, but I have to give it one thing: it refuses to be ignored.

The tradition I like best about the holidays is the mania some people go to stringing lights all over their property.

Where does such a thing start? I figure it had to be Joseph. I’ve always pictured Joseph as a bit of a goof. He remains unmarried most of his lifetime, finally marries a girl who’s already pregnant, then in spite of their honeymoon in Egypt doesn’t seem to worry when people claim his wife remained a virgin her whole life (which must have come as quite a surprise to Jesus’ siblings.)

I see old weird Joe as the nerd prototype. He works with his hammer, chisels and saws, and dreams of building a box into which he can store and display ancient episodes of Dr. Who.
Christmas lights must have been Joe’s idea.

Tap-tap-tap… tap-tap-tap.

“Joseph, what are you doing?”

“I got these string things at the Bethlehem WalMart. I figured I’d gussy up the place.”

“What do the strings do?”

“Well, if you get a small lightning bolt to hit one end, just right, they’ll light up, real pretty.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Shouldn’t be. They carry the Hasmodean Laboratories seal.  Besides, we already have these strange glowing bits around our heads.  That hasn't harmed us; why should this?”

“What should I do?”

“Stand behind the manger, between the donkey and the cow, and look serene,”

“Like this?”

“Perfect! Hold it like that. I think I see some Wise Men coming. This is gonna be great! Hey! You shepherds, get your smelly sheep out of the picture.”



“Yes, Sweetie Pie?”

“I’m concerned the lights might disturb the baby.”

“Nah! He’s got that, sleep in heavenly peace thing going for him.”
I look at the stuff we put up these days and all I can think is: Joe would be proud.