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Thursday, November 6, 2014

In Memory Tom Magliozzi

For those of you without an elder sibling to introduce you to the finer things in life, might not be aware of Tom Magliozzi, AKA Clack Tappet, and his brother Ray (AKA Click.) For decades they did a show – Car Talk - on national public radio that was ostensibly (a word I’ve always wanted to use – sure hope it means what I think it means,) about car maintenance and repair.
What it was really about was nonsense.

Ray’s job included fielding calls, answering questions competently, finding new ways to make their phone number confusing, compose puzzler questions and clever plays on words, and to keep the show moving.
Tom’s job was to goof off – which he did very well indeed.

Thankfully their shows are archived and available for future generations or the genetically mutated cockroaches that take over the planet. The site is I don’t know how that translates in cockroach.

Part of the charm of the show was that Click and Clack relished being slammed by their listeners. And so, as a way of eulogizing Tom (Clack) Magliozzi here is my final slam of Car Talk to the tune of Under the Boardwalk.

Tune into Car Talk
lyrics by Headley Hauser
To the tune of Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters

Oh when you’re so bored, you’d climb the walls to the roof
And your brain is so fried; you’d listen to the stupidest goof
Tune into Car Talk, Listen for Free-hee-hee
And where no one can hear it, that’s where I’ll be.

(Tune into Car Talk) On radio or phone
(Tune into Car Talk) And you’ll be all alone
(Tune into Car Talk) Don’t need to be aware
(Tune into Car Talk) Cause there’ll be no one there
Tune into Car Talk – Car Talk!

From outside you hear the happy sound of normal folk
Mmm and you’re wishin’ for a laugh from a truly funny joke
Tune into Car Talk, It won’t ever be, yeah
Cause funny don’t happen, on ninety-eight point three

(Tune into Car Talk) Hear them make a gaff
(Tune into Car Talk) And then hear Tommy laugh
(Tune into Car Talk) Bad for you and your car
(Tune into Car Talk) And worse for NPR
Tune into Car Talk – Car Talk!

Tune into Car Talk – And then eat some brie, yeah
And the men in the white coats, they won’t let you free

(Tune into Car Talk) Listen to Tom and Ray
(Tune into Car Talk) And you’ll be sent away
(Tune into Car Talk) Believe in Click and Clack
(Tune into Car Talk) And you’ll never get back
Tune into Car Talk – Car Talk!

Thank you, Tom for a lifetime of goofs and bad car advice. Here’s hoping you find your beloved Dodge Dart in that better place.