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Friday, August 26, 2016

Dirk Destroyer - The Final Insultment

  Here it is, the HIGHLY ANTICIPATED (if two people following this thread constitute high anticipation,) conclusion to Dirk Destroyer's Less Destructive Brother.  What's happened so far?
   Mostly political cheap shots and cigar innuendo.  (Wow!  That sounds painful.)
   And now the end...

 Chapter 27
Mysterious Ending – That Is, Until You Read It

I was back on the couch in So-Ho. The twins must have gotten up because the futon was empty, and I could hear them moving around in the kitchen. Dirk was playing around with a magic box on his desk.
“Check this out,” he said. He manipulated a small item on the desk, and suddenly there were two people inside the magic box and they were singing – which would probably not be my reaction if Dirk had imprisoned me in a magic box.
My goodness they were singing! I’d never heard anything like it before.
“Who are these musical people you’ve imprisoned?” I asked.
“Steve and Eydie,” said Dirk.
“Steve and Eydie would be musical gods on Two!” I said.
“I know,” said Dirk, manipulating the magic box in such a way that Steve and Eydie shut up. “That’s why I had to leave. Maybe tonight we’ll go hear some real music.”
“We could play some Fassentinker,” I said.
“I don’t see how,” said Dirk. “You lost the scratchwing.”
“I lost the scratchwing?”
“Yeah, and I don’t know how I’m ever going to find another one. I told you to hold onto it.”
“That wasn’t the real reason you asked me to hold onto it,” I said.
There was a suspicious gleam in Dirk’s eye. I checked my fanny pack. There was no fish stick. What did that mean?
“If I didn’t know you better…” said Dirk.
Maybe it wasn’t the Stevens twins in the kitchen, maybe it was…
Mage-e-not came in bare-chested. I was glad to see him, but not like that. He held up a wet ball of shredded cloth. “Your magic cleaning box ate my shirt.”
Dirk looked at me. “Tomorrow we go find you a place of your own.”
I nodded absent-mindedly. Mage-e-not was here, but what about…
Something crashed in the kitchen. “Broken dish,” squawked Swampy.
“Oopsie,” exclaimed the voice I most wanted to hear.
“Tomorrow,” I agreed with Dirk. Would we be looking for a short-term lease, or one for the next several thousand years? I knew where Ono’s immortality switch was, and where mine was as well.

Whichever we decided, we’d live at the same setting.

   What - that's it?  I wrote the stupid thing and I think that was a lame ending.  It's a good thing I didn't charge anybody for this.  Bundle up these posts and give them to someone you can't stand this Christmas.
   All I can say is the vid better be good.