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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Saying So-Long

Walter Bego, the chief muckety-muck of Go Figure Reads called me the other day.
(Never a good thing.)
“So Headley,” said Walter, “how do you think the blog is going?”
“Stupid as always,” I say defensively.
“Stupid, yes,” said Walter, “like a stupid box set.”
Maybe I could have found a more intelligent rejoinder, but the fact is, Walter was right. All of my highest view-count posts are more than a year old. Most Wednesdays and Saturdays (the days after I make my posts,) the most recent post is behind two – to – five older posts in the 24 hour rankings.
“I see a lot of pictures of other people’s kittens lately,” said Walter.
“I know.”
“You’ve been taking stuff from Stanley too.”
“He offered.”
“And that’s with you serializing Dirk Destroyer, a novella that might be breaking records for unpopularity.”
“That’s because I didn’t include Donald Trump.”
"I don’t think so,” said Walter. “Avoiding The Donald should have helped your ratings.  We really should find a good place for that guy.”
I hate it when Walter’s right.
“And how long has it been since you finished a novel – two and a half years?”
“I started two.”
“And the last one you finished?”
“Dirk Destroyer...”
There was silence at the other end of the line. I was hoping it was because someone was garroting Walter, or maybe he had been transported to a planet full of Barney Dinosaur wanna-bes.
“Sorry Headley,” said Walter finally, not really masking the glee in his voice, “Your blog just isn’t cutting it any more. It’s sucking you dry. Let’s face it; you didn’t have much talent to start with and now with all this sucking – your blog really…”
“Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery.”
Walter hung up, but not before I heard him start humming a merry tune.
The great sensei of blogging and originator of Great American Things, Robin Chalkley said that a successful blog should be updated at least twice a week.
What he didn’t have to say is that the material needs to be decent. So now I put Just Plain Stupid on hiatus. You may see a new post here or there, but only when I have something worthwhile to say - so Walter would tell you not to hold your breath.  In the meantime, check out Junk Drawer, which might have more stories now that I'm not being stupid - intentionally.  Junk Drawer
So, it’s not goodbye – just so long,.  Oh, and Walter - too many kittens?  In the words of Bill the Cat: