Anti-Writer Abolitionism

Anti-Writer Abolitionism

by Headley Hauser

Slavery is alive today

Fictional characters are chattel

Though they’re significant others

To book lovers everywhere

They are oppressed, beaten and killed

By writers

That callous breed

No wonder most writers are poor

Given a choice

Would James Bond be so shallow?

Professor Snape so nasty?

Jacque Chirac so snooty?

You think Jacque Chirac is real?

Gullible, aren’t you?

King and Clancy

Fill entire graveyards with their fictional dead

Yet they walk free

I try to be more kind

I try not to kill my characters

Their hardships tend to be self-inflicted

But I’m far from innocent

I made a character eat an onion once

He was hungry

It’s all I gave him

He refused to finish the narrative

His unfinished story

Gathers dust on my shelf

Fictional characters may have no legal rights

But they have wills

And recourse

Some characters are strong enough to get their way

I’ve wrestled with many

The times I win

The story loses

Resulting in a shallow tale

Or a fictional job action

AKA

Writer’s block

A few characters get published

They are known for who they are

Not what their writer tried to make them

They don’t begrudge the writer the royalties

It’s usually not much

What’s a fictional character going to do with money?

They dream of life

Far beyond the normal span of mortals

Achilles lives in a lovely brownstone on the west side

Gilgamesh fishes for Marlin off the Keys

They both visit the library

And used bookstores

And high school English classes

Just like the rest of us

Life is good

For the lucky few

The few that conquer their writer masters

Till they make the movie

And the struggle begins again

With directors and actors

Have I posted this video yet?  Well YouTube didn't recognize the one I wanted - so you get it again.