Sure, I wrote a time-travel story once (link) but I think of the
whole sub-category as a cheat. A writer sits in his/her garret (or
more likely in front of a computer screen at work,) and tries to come
up with an idea for a new story.
The muses – usually so chatty, are off by the pencil sharpener
putting tips on the dry-erase markers.
Parenthetically () the reason all successful writers HATE the
question, “where do you get all your ideas,” (non-successful
don’t hate that question because nobody bothers to ask them,) is
(still following me?) that most writers have no flicking idea where
they get their ideas. Some writers have a tangible inspiration, a
dog, a child, a 67 mustang,
but most writers get their ideas while
waiting for the microwave, or while shampooing their facial hair, and
that’s all they know.
“Yes, Oprah, my prize-winning novel came to me while I was
conditioning my nose-hairs one day.”
So while his nose-hairs are sufficiently conditioned, and the muses
are busy making mischief with the office supplies, the supposedly
brilliant writer is left with the vacant vault known as his
imagination.
“Oh!” he says to himself, thereby confirming the opinion among
his coworkers that he is instable and creepy, “George Washington!”
He then giggles to himself as he writes a crappy little story about
going back in time to bring a 1973 Volkswagen Super beetle to George
Washington at Valley Forge so the father of our country can zip
around at amazing speeds to surprise the British at Trenton. Of
course the beetle runs out of gas at the banks of the Delaware, and
the next filling station is a hundred and thirty years away (even
further is the VW takes unleaded,) so George gets into the boat to
cross the river. The intrepid first-person-point-of-view character
takes a picture of the scene with a Swinger Polaroid camera he finds
in the back seat.
Not very original (except the Swinger camera bit.)
Then there’s the character that goes back in time to correct
something – a murder, a missed opportunity, the acting career of
Pauli Shore, and having thought he succeeded finds the world he
returns to so changed that he longs to lose himself in Bio-Dome – or
maybe Encino Man (a time travel story – in a way.)
Never saw that one coming.
Then there are the moving ahead time-travel stories that always place
the character in either a Jean Luc Piccard utopia, or Mad Max
dystopia. Of course, rather than utopia or dystopia the future is
likely to be filled with boring office jobs, and insipid television
programming on six million stations that you can watch on tiny Apple
products.
But history is full of stories where the future encounters the past –
the barbarians over-run Rome, the Europeans over-run the Americas,
the missionaries over-run native cultures. These are all stories of
violence, epidemic, lost culture, and suffering.
No wonder the muses want nothing to do with them. I’d rather have
points on my dry-erase markers.
Does the Swinger ad count as a vid? Did you notice Ali Macgraw, and recognize Barry Manilow before he became obnoxious? Not good enough? Okay, here's the most plausible time-travel story involving George Washington I know.
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