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Monday, May 12, 2014

Legos and the Path to Fame and Fortune.

I was born just a few years early to get in on the great Lego legacy. I had some white, red, and clear building blocks that worked much as Legos do, but they lacked the cool gadgets that Legos offers. 
 They were like miniature cinder blocks that connected and so they were relegated to building houses and forts for my toy soldiers.
Just as Bill Gates a generation later, cornered the operating systems market by slightly adapting existing technology, Legos moved into the American market with a slightly altered connector shape to my no-name building blocks and made an Empire. I’m even saving this file with a Lego USB drive.
So what is it about Legos that make six-year-olds hyperventilate? My erector set and Lincoln Logs never set me in a frenzy no matter how much Captain Crunch I’d had for breakfast.
I’ve never been proud. I steal pictures from FB to post here on Just Plain Stupid. I ‘borrow’ other people’s jokes; I even repurpose existing tunes to write parodies. I think I lack just as much character as Bill Gates and Joe Lego (or whatever his/her name is.) What existing bland and under-appreciated technology can I adjust slightly and use to rake in enough gold to satisfy a Lego pirate?
Rubber bands are basic and bland. They've been around ever since... a long time – but has anyone made jewelry from them?

You say they've been doing that a while? Maybe I should look around more.
Paper clips! What's more mundane and simple? But what if we made it artistic?

Oh – well, artists are usually poor anyway.
How about twist ties? Twist ties are ubiquitous. They breed in my top kitchen drawer, which really cuts down on manufacturing costs. How about claymation made from twist ties?

Hmm… I guess that’s covered.
Soda bottles! I could revolutionize the craft world with...

Dang it!
What's the most drab and useless technology out there... Toilet paper rolls? Ignoring the whole disease possibilities – if I could make toys from...

The heck with it. Move over; I'm playing with your Legos. I high-hosey the pirates!
For the .0002% of JPS readers who haven't seen it - here's a classic Lego adaptation of a Monty Python favorite.