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Monday, January 13, 2014

Poetry Post

In spite of the encouragement of most of my readers, I still write poetry from time to time. So here’s a bit of the backlog – poems that (unjustly) never made it to publication.

Dear Teacher
by Headley Hauser

I did not do the assignment
I am existentially challenged
I am unable to take a stand
On the issue of my being

If I stipulate my existence
I would have to consider my environment
And other beings in it

The moral implication staggers

It’s not just a matter of doing the hokey-pokey
And turning yourself around

It’s what it’s all about

If anyone’s interested, no, that excuse didn’t fly. The next poem’s about some people I spend a great deal of time with.

Heart Friends
by Headley Hauser

Pauline’s not very bright
Ben’s unlucky
But Michelle’s a bitch

It great
That Microsoft gives me friends
I can insult
As I play them in Hearts

I’ve spent many hours
With these buddies
If they resent
That I walk out on games I’m losing
They’ve never shown it

Of course
They also lack the decency
To look embarrassed when I skunk them

I guess
No friends are perfect

Friendships are hard to come by – especially for me. I wonder why that is?

I Don’t Remember Your Name
by Headley Hauser

I may be a closet misanthrope
But I think it’s just
The way my mind works
Or doesn’t work

Like when I’m playing the hand drum
When I think about it
I screw up

The memory’s an amazing thing
I heard that somewhere
I just don’t remember where

I used to be in plays
I’d remember dozens of lines
And songs
Word perfect

But a face
And a name
Even after a dozen meetings
Rarely clicks

Am I lazy
Do I not care enough
Or like with the drum
Do I think about it too much

That great memory retardant

What do you think?

I’m sorry
What was your name again?

This last poem I wrote for a friend of mine. I don’t remember her name. She was discussing the correct use of lie, lay, and lain with some other folks.

The English Lesson
by Headley Hauser

Larry lay some soap of lye
A rose sink to clean fore beddy-bye
As he did lie he heard a lay
For a ring did sing, what did it say?
"Come lay that lye upon the sink
And scrub off layers back to pink
For layers will lie where they have lain
And as hygiene lies it seems insane
To lick or lap or take a drink
From a dingy layer laden sink"
But lazy Larry went beddy-bye
For he knew that rings on sinks do lie.

Don’t ask me about that last poem because I don’t understand it anymore. Here’s an interlude from one of my favorite Tick episodes: