HHHH Inducts: Christopher Moore
Headley Hauser Hall of Honor (pronounced Hawner) is
contractually obligated to write something in this blog space. So
I’m inducting Christopher Moore.
Moore (who I’d call Chris, I guess - if I knew him - and he hadn’t
told me to get out of his kitchen at 3AM when I accidently picked the
lock to his back door,) is the author of 14 novels (most of which
don’t stink out loud,) and a graphic novel (which I haven’t had
the opportunity to sniff as yet.)
He serendipitously, randomly, accidently or otherwise unaccountably
authored the greatest novel of the 21rst century: LAMB: THE
GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST’S CHILDHOOD PAL. Luckily
for him he didn’t write it a few years earlier, ‘cause when it
comes to the 20th century, Harper Lee would’ve cleaned
his clock.
From what I can gather from his writings his turn-ons seem to be
demons, vampires, recreational medication, B movies, impressionist
art, and the plastic ball pit at the local McDonalds.
No mention of his turn-offs appear in his novels or any description
of his perfect date, unless it involves super-market frozen turkey
bowling.
Thankfully, I am not required to include a centerfold photo in this
write-up.
Moore enjoys weaving his characters from one story into another.
Perhaps he gets a thrill from frustrating those who begin reading his
work with say, THE STUPIDEST ANGEL: A HEARTWARMING TALE OF
CHRISTMAS TERROR. The said unfortunate would find missing
background relating to two characters introduced in ISLAND OF
THE SEQUINED LOVE NUN, another character introduced in LAMB,
and a host of characters from the fictional Pine Grove California.
As a public service (and because I’m trying to reach 500 words,) I
will now list his books in order:
1) PRACTICAL DEMONKEEPING (the first Pine Grove
book)
2) COYOTE BLUE (nothin’ to do with
nothin’ as far as I can tell)
3) BLOODSUCKING FIENDS (A LOVE STORY) (the
first vampire/San Francisco book)
4) ISLAND OF THE SEQUINED LOVE NUN
5) THE LUST LIZARD OF MELANCHOLY COVE (the
second Pine Grove book)
6) LAMB
7) FLUKE: OR, I KNOW WHY THE WINGED WHALE SINGS
(clearly written while on a Pacific cruise where the liquor
was unlimited – I’d skip this one)
8) THE STUPIDEST ANGEL (the third Pine Grove
book)
9) YOU SUCK: A LOVE STORY (the second
vampire/San Francisco book)
10) A DIRTY JOB (the third San Francisco, but
NOT primarily a vampire book – sneaky Pete)
11) FOOL (obligatory Shakespeare homage bit)
12) BITE ME: A LOVE STORY (the third vampire and
fourth San Francisco book)
13) SACRE BLEU: A COMEDY D’ART (largely 19th
century, Paris, France book)
14) THE SERPENT OF VENICE (no idea as it has
yet to appear in the Barnes and Noble dumpster with its cover torn
off.)
And of course, the currently unscented graphic novel: THE
GRIFF: A GRAPHIC NOVEL (WITH IAN CORSON.)
I have been accused of stealing his style in my novella TROUBLE
IN TAOS. LINK That doesn’t concern me because like tens of
thousands of my fellow writing wanna-bes, I can’t get arrested in
this town.
Wanna know more? Check his website: WWW.CHRISMOORE.COM, LINK cause I’m
way over 500 words.
For the video, I thought I'd celebrate the release of Mr. Peabody (though I won't see it till it gets to the cheap theater,) with this vid of how he adopted Sherman.
There's even a bonus fractured fairy tale.
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