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Monday, August 4, 2014

Dirk Destroyer and Talking Eyeballs

 It’s been a rough week at Amalgamated Monster (see last post,) and I've had little energy left over for post writing. I thought you might all enjoy a small preview of my third Genre novella, Dirk Destroyer’s Less Destructive Brother.
If you don’t enjoy it – well, it’s all you’re getting, so... sorry.
I should probably give you some background on the story here, but that would take more than one post – so again... sorry.

On her bed of soft earth, Ono’s eyes opened and met mine. “Why did you do that?” her eyes said figuratively, because of course, her eyes didn’t say anything literally.
Only a rare breed of chipmunk have eyes that can literally speak words, and they rarely say anything other than either, “please keep your cat indoors,” or “have any nuts?” I saw one at a traveling circus once. His cage was so full of nuts that the little guy could barely move around. I waited around for a couple of hours to hear his eyes say real words, and all the time I was there people kept coming by, saying things like – “hey, it’s an eyeball-talking chipmunk! Throw him some nuts.” Frequently, they did just that, more completely filling the poor creature’s already smallish living quarters.
Gamely, the little fella would munch on a few nuts, though he was already paunchy for his breed. When people saw him eating, they might say something like – “I heard about those eyeball-talking chipmunks. Look at him – he sure likes nuts. Throw him some, will you Hortense?” And frequently Hortense would respond by throwing yet more nuts into the hopelessly over-filled cage.
After spending the afternoon watching, though not throwing any nuts, I leaned against the poor fella’s cage and offered him a sip of my ice tea which he gratefully accepted.
So,” I said finally, figuring the ice tea had broken the… “So,” I said finally, “do you have anything you would like to say?”
Lips formed grotesquely below the pupils, probably because there are not many non-grotesque ways that lips can form on eyeballs. “Please keep your nuts to yourself,” he said softly, before putting up an “on break” sign and burrowing into his massive nut pile.

I spent a century or five meditating on the words, “please keep your nuts to yourself.” I mentioned the words to Dirk, who was not impressed; though I’ve never found Dirk willing to give intelligent rodents all the credit they’re due.
I later learned that the species developed a nut allergy and were now extinct. I decided I wasn’t much for meditation, and had not thought about the eyeball-talking chipmunks until that moment when I faced Ono’s literally silent, but figuratively accusing eyes.
As I anticipated, my encounter with the extinct rodent was no help to me at all.


Here's a disgustingly cute video.  How is it related?  It has animals... sorry.