Upon Further Review Part Two: The Un-cute

Upon further review part 2?

So what I’m really saying is that this post is leftover leftovers – kind of like stale reheated hash.

Sound appetizing?

I’m guessing that some of you who stumble onto this post have not dedicated your lives to reading the hundreds of posts that preceded it, so maybe some of these pics might look fresh and new to you.

At least they won’t be cute. Cute was last week. These are the un-cute reusals from the reuse folder.

Un-cute includes scary.  

This carved pumpkin is disturbing, but how about...

A Rambo Queen Elizabeth?  Or...

A new visitor at your doggie door.

Even tree can spook you.

This one doesn't surprise me.  I've always been wary of Ronald McDonald

That's right, Pepper.  Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Not all un-cute animals are scary

Some are just angry

Or caniverous

Or prey for carnivores

For that matter, so are we

Humans can be un-cute especially Trekkies

Ones that are better off in comedy

Or music

Or dance

Or those trekkies that combine all three

But not all un-cute must be animate

It can be a slogan

Or a cartoon

Maybe a smelly cartoon

Or a smelly vehicle - or perhaps...

A truthful one

And now for all you Frozen Trekkies.

200 Reasons I’m Still Just Plain Stupid

Those of you keeping track, (or those that can do the quick math from the column on the right,) are aware that this is the 200^th blog post for Just Plain Stupid. 200 useless amalgamations of pixels spit up on the digital cosmos.

I couldn’t have done it without you. So let’s get sentimental and cheesy before the NSA, Vladimir Putin, ISIS, the Disney Corporation, or Starbucks shuts this blog down.

Among all the garbage I've spewed in the last two years, a few slimy nuggets have clung to a surprising number of computers and phones across the globe. My series of creepy things has had several hundred hits, particularly the ones about Diane Keaton

Creepy Things Part 1 – Diane Keaton

 and Neil Diamond.

What is Creepy Part 3: Sweet Caroline

 Surprisingly popular was the case I made to change the word ‘off’ to ‘foo,’

In Support of Foo

 though I suspect that most of the hits were by disappointed fans of Foo Fighters. Excerpts from Trouble in Taos

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

have gathered thousands of reads, though sadly not as many sales on Amazon.  Even less success with Volition Man.

Volition Man Chapter L Dirgan Falls Asleep

But the Big Kahuna of all my posts has been Basketball, BWG, but no Little Debbie.

Basketball, BWG, but no Little Debbie Twinkie

 Almost half of all the hits this blog has received were on that post. Did ESPN think I was really talking sports and link it? Did the Lawyers of Little Debbie hope to bring a service denial shut down of blogspot?

I like to think it was the parody of Little Debbie done to the tune of the Candyman. Parodies frequently do well on this blog, like the parody of Starbucks to the tune of Downtown,

Going After Starbucks

 the one of Gandhi to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,

Gandhi link

 or the medley of Christmas Carol parodies in 

Modern Single Holiday

Not all parodies prosper. 

In Memory Tom Magliozzi

 My tribute to the Car Talk guys to the tune of Under the Boardwalk, 

My Little Loose Glute

My Little Loose Glute parodying my fitness struggles to the tune of Little Deuce Coup,

Ballad of Gypsy's Clean Floor

 and The Ballad of Gypsy’s Clean Floor to the tune of the Theme to Gilligan’s Island never got much interest.

Go Figure.

Come to think of it, posts that fail have been much more common than those that succeed. Even some posts that I thought deserved better like,

The Bear Is Back

The Bear is Back,

Headley Who and How

Headley Who and How,

Annoying Things

Annoying Things,

Helix (the Cat)

Helix (the Cat), and poor little

O - I'll just have...

  O – I’ll Just Have that garnered only 4 hits.

Of course Stanley McFarland’s guest post, Truly

Truly

also got only 4 hits, but I think we can understand why on that one. He’s still trying to get me to post his poem, Garumplephink, but so far I think I've spared you that indignity (though it’s getting hard to keep track of which indignities I’ve foisted upon you and which I haven’t.)

So this is the point where I should make a commitment to give you even better, high quality entertainment in the year to come – to create (and steal) the most fascinating and hysterical content for your blog viewing pleasure.

Not gonna happen. But for the moment, I will continue to throw gobbets of my imagination into our increasingly disgusting cyberspace in an attempt to sell my pathetic novels and live comfortably with a reliable supply of Pop Tarts.

Because that’s what you've come to expect from Just Plain Stupid.

And now, for no reason I can think of - The Llama Song

Bad Signs, Ads and Labels

 Lynn V. R. and Joe T. are two friends from High School – which means they are very old people. They are also (or were before I called them old,) Facebook friends. They share (meaning they each have,) and share (meaning they offer it to others,) an appreciation for bad signs.

Maybe I’m a little sensitive to this subject having so many written words out there that can be taken the wrong way. (My proofreader assures me that the funniest bit in Trouble in Taos was something I didn’t intend to say.)

Still – they have sent me (as have a few others,) so many pictures of bad signs, ads and labels that I figured it was time to share their brand of humor with the many fives of you who read this blog.

Part One - Wait...

That does say flickering - right?

Nothing wrong here - till you count the arms

So I just go see... hey?

Good safety tip - thanks

Sure it does.

Part Two - Yuck

From Florida?

And for dessert...

Part Three - expression

How about Sancho?

Where's the petition?  I'll sign.

Part Four - worth repeating.  These images have been on JPS before.

Great ad

Truth in Advertising!

When I was a kid - this ad freaked me out.  I never grew out of it.